I have been trying to write a new blog for a few weeks. I’ve had varying ideas over that time, some that I may try to revisit, but it is interesting how timely thoughts can be and if you don’t seize on them in the moment, it feels as if the moment may be gone.
At the beginning of the month, I was able to visit NYC for the first time since before my cancer diagnosis. This was the trip that I kept putting off as, since growing up in New Jersey and having both lifelong friends and family there, I knew my body would not be able to handle the type of immersive visit that I longed for. It felt like a rite of passage, being well enough to go go go.
The Saturday of my visit, I briskly walked 12 miles while seeing favorite places like the Central Park Conservatory Garden, the reservoir, and the Met. I visited multiple exhibits and galleries but when the corner of my eye caught a Monet, I was pulled in by the masters. I obviously wish none of you get cancer but I have to say, seeing art masterpieces, after beating cancer, while feeling great and on antidepressants, no art has ever been more breathtaking. I felt like I was experiencing that scene in the Grinch where his heart grows three times the size. I’ll never forget it.
I had a truly wonderful time and thought that I’d write about my visit upon returning to Florida. But first I took a day to rest. Then I had to give each of my cats’ a million hugs all day. Then there was a big news day that I got sucked into. Then I got my roots done – much needed, I felt like a reverse skunk. Then the weekend of fun and activities, you get the picture. Life happened.
Then life happened in a very different way. After seeing and loving Finding Neverland as mom’s and my final Broadway event of the season on Sunday, Monday was the one year anniversary of the Pulse shooting. I’ve had two odd close but far encounters with Pulse. Last year at the time, I had just flown to England and Ireland for training with my then new job. I put the TV on in my hotel room in Ireland to find the news was coming from Orlando, FL and a young singer had been murdered. The next and for many days after, still in Ireland, the news remained about Orlando and Pulse. It was a very odd feeling to be so far away but have news that literally hit 25 minutes close to home.
This year’s anniversary I felt it necessary pay my respects. I thought about the tragedy that whole day. The next day, I went to my Tuesday cancer support group as usual. I met up with a good friend there and went after to grab a nosh than go to a different support group specifically for her cancer type. When we were nearing our original meeting point at an Orlando hospital, we drove on to Pulse to see the tributes. I learned that the club was literally one half mile away from the destination I’ve been going to every week for the past 3 months. I wish I’d known that sooner.
Though the week began solemnly, I kept telling myself I have to write my blog. I’m slacking. Then Wednesday came and that horrible ballpark shooting took place outside DC. That really unnerved me. I believe that our differences should lead to spirited debates, not to bullets and that we not forget we are all Americans. I found myself awake quite early on Thursday morning and my first instinct was to grab my phone to see how the shot Senator was, hoping he, a senator I have little in common with politically, was doing well.
I found myself once again pondering a blog topic. I’d personally felt it had been a weird week as how do you juxtapose having a good personal week with mostly highs when the country had a week of many lows? For one thing, I can tell you that it has left me more whole with a reaffirmation to look beyond politics and always remember humanity. If you notice above, I note the senator and I have little in common politically. But what is that in the grand scheme of things when we likely have important things in common such as love of family?
So today, I share my stream of consciousness thoughts behind my active inaction. It’s honest as sometimes, finding inspiration when life happens, is hard. Time to get past my ego to overtly inspire and just share. You all inspire me every day.